We lost a good friend not long ago. Neil Moreland was a fixture for many years on the Community Associations Institute scene in the Washington Metro and Chesapeake Chapters. More importantly, he became a fixture in many people’s lives; softly, quietly, cheerfully, dependably.
Neil was one of my primary mentors at CAI and I was proud to count him as a friend. He was instrumental in the success of the WMCCAI’s Conference & Expo for all three years I chaired the event about a decade ago. An immensely creative fellow, he was the guy we could count on to come up with the theme each year. I still remember the playful look on his face when he would walk into the committee meeting, cock his head to one side and say, “When I was in the shower this morning, I had an idea about next year….” Once you got past the visual he stuck in your head, you realized that he absolutely nailed the theme. He was our champion of the “Aha!” moment. He got all his best ideas in the shower, apparently.
Neil contributed his time and talents greatly to WMCCAI, and the chapter recognized him with many awards. I noticed Neil was never fully comfortable with all the recognition. He was always much more interested in getting things done. Neil never lost his modesty or his humility.
My daughter Meagan was close to Neil as well. When I shared the sad news of his passing with her, she said “He adored you – the only reason he was interested in me was because of you.” I told her she was wrong. Neil was interested in meeting her when I told him she was also in the community management industry, but once he met her, he adored her, too. That was a key to Neil – he focused on each person as an individual, and he shared his big heart liberally with them.
I heard many say how much we lost when we lost Neil. In a way, yes, but what’s more important is how much he left for us. Neil was passing things forward long before the movie that made the phrase popular was even a glimmer in anyone’s eye. More than passing forward, Neil was Johnny Appleseeding us. He understood and believed in the value of service. He looked out for the concerns and needs of others, and gave of himself unselfishly in things large and small. As a result, he impacted people and organizations in ways they will always appreciate, but probably never fully realize. In my opinion, one of the things that made Neil great was his “old school” way to doing business and living. These things are in short supply these days. More than anything else, I wanted to honor Neil by sharing the values we talked about, the values he exhibited on a daily basis.
“Old School” Perspectives – Life and Business as Lived by Neil Moreland
Give for the purpose of giving, not in order to get something in return. Giving to give is love. Giving to get is manipulation. See the line and don’t cross it.
Business, like life, is about relationships. Make the call. Better yet, show up. There is nothing like face to face.
Be in the moment. Care about who you are talking to right then and there, and what they are talking about.
Believe in others. Find ways to support them.
Allow your passions to translate into actions. There is no value in waiting for permission. Find a way.
Be a gentleman. I know that may sound sexist to some. This is the only “guy thing” on the list. But being a gentleman brings out the best in masculinity. It applies to how one interacts with everyone. It is respectful, it is kind, and it is quietly powerful.
If you have an idea, throw it out there. If it isn’t embraced, leave it alone. Don’t be a jerk about it. If the idea is good, it’s time will come. Just keep it in your pocket for the right time.
Be kind. Kindness is more powerful than all the ego in the world.
Care. Then do something about it.
I hope you enjoy reflecting on Neil’s life as much as I do. If you do it right, you’ll have a smile on your face. Please feel free to share lessons you learned from Neil. Remember to always pass it forward. That might be the best way to honor Neil’s memory.