The Backstory
I found this one while browsing in a used book store. I’m a kid in a candy shop in places like that. I’d already picked up a biography on Samuel Johnson, and then this one caught my eye. I remember hearing about the bestseller Getting to Yes by the same author, but I’d never read it.
By then, I’d read and studied The Little Gold Book of Yes! Attitude by Jeffrey Gitomer, and adopted my 11th governing value: “I start with ‘yes’ and finish with ‘yes.’” I’d also learned that saying “no” to things of lesser priority was the only way I could say “yes” to all the things I really wanted to do. So the book looked interesting and into the basket it went.
The Summary
Ury frames his concept with the illustration of a tree. Your personal Yes is the roots holding the tree firmly in the ground. Your No is the trunk of the tree that comes from those roots. From the strength of that tree trunk No, a final Yes of full limbs, branches, leaves, and flowers grow.
He breaks the concept down into three stages considering the first Yes, the No, and the second Yes in each:
Stage One: Prepare
- Uncover Your Yes
- Empower Your No
- Respect Your Way to Yes
Stage Two: Deliver
- Express Your Yes
- Assert Your No
- Propose a Yes
Stage Three: Follow Through
- Stay True to Your Yes
- Underscore Your No
- Negotiate to Yes
The Gold
In a world that is increasingly engulfed in emotional No, this book is right on time. Ury’s perspective and practical tips on creating a space for mutual respect and setting the context for No as a tool for Yes are brilliant and apply to business and personal life. I will be recommending this book as required reading for those involved in community associations. The answer to many questions posed in our arena has to be No. But it should not end there, and the message must be delivered properly if we are to help our clients and communities thrive.
“There is no doubt that delivering a Positive No requires courage, vision, empathy, fortitude, patience, and persistence. But it is within reach of everyone every day, and the words are potentially enormous…You don’t have to choose between saying No and getting to Yes. You can do both. You can say No…positively!”
– William Ury
Intrigued? Good.
Beans Everywhere!
I’ve shared the Magic Beans blog series in an attempt to help community association volunteer leaders and the professionals who serve them to find ways to communicate effectively with community members and each other. This book is loaded with magic beans.
