Category Archives: business life

Book Reviews, business life

There It Goes, So Here You Are

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Gratitude spreads through my thoughts as I stare out onto the ocean and ponder the year gone by.  Of course, 2018 didn’t go as I thought it would, reminding me that having a purpose can be more useful than having a plan.  My purpose of sharing content is to give away all the good things I’ve been fortunate enough to collect.  This would not have happened without you blog readers and followers on our business social media platform.  I am grateful to so many who have inspired me, supported me, pushed me, put up with me, corrected me, encouraged me, taught me, challenged me, put up with me some more, and set an example for me.  One way or another, all of them made my work better and helped me grow as a person.  Thank you one and all.

I also thought about the authors that influenced me most this year.  Some books were read this year.  Others were read years ago and keep showing up in my presentations, blogs, teaching, mentoring, and day-to-day conversations.  They have shaped the way I do business.  So as a way to thank those influencers who I’ve crammed into my cranium and possibly give you a few ideas for books that might make a difference for you, I offer this year end blog.  It’s a long one, but I have a lot of people to thank (and value to give, hopefully)!

T-Rex’s Top Ten Influential Authors in 2018

Leaders-Strategies for Taking Charge by Warren Bennis & Burt Nanus  – This was hugely influential when I first started studying leadership in the mid-’80s. The lessons are insightful and the fundamentals are rock solid.  I also found his Organizing Genius, Geeks & Geezers, and Reinventing Leadership with Robert Townsend to be outstanding.  Dr. Bennis is missed, but his work lives on.  It’s woven into every board orientation/tune-up session we share with clients.

Little Golden Book of Yes! Attitude by Jeffrey Gitomer – It’s hokey (Gitomer says so himself), but it’s practical and very real.  I keep coming back to it when I need a checkup from the neck up.  A few years after studying this book, I did a co-presentation with Shannon Polly and became exposed to the discipline of positive psychology.  It turns out the hokey stuff has a clinical backup!

Start With Why, by Simon Sinek – I’d been frustrated for a long time with managers, management companies and board members who seemed determined to stay in the weeds and miss the point.  I was always encouraging folks to drill down and get to The Why.  I stumbled across a Sinek TED Talk. I bought the book and immediately began stealing from him.  His Leaders Eat Last is also very good.

Good to Great, by Jim Collins, including the monograph Good to Great and the Social Sectors– I find myself referring to “Level 5” leadership, the “hedgehog concept” and “pockets of greatness” with frequency.  Pockets of greatness will be woven into our work with community associations and management companies in building intentional culture in 2019.

The Speed of Trust by Steven M.R. Covey – I’ll always be indebted to John Byers of Townside Management for introducing this one to me.  The general concept plays out all the time in community associations: When trust is present, things go quickly and it’s less expensive.  When trust is absent, things take forever and it costs more. I referenced the book at one board consulting session and was tickled to hear that the management company bought copies for all the board members as a gift afterward.

Driven to Delight, by Joseph Michelli – This book helped me to refine how I looked at and taught customer service for community associations.  The story of how Mercedes Benz learned to morph from a product-centric to customer-centric mindset is fascinating and applicable to our work.  Helping managers, volunteer leaders, and all front line team members, to get out from under their perspective (typically their version of “product-centric”) and think and feel like the members hey serve has been a game-changer.

To Sell is Human, by Daniel Pink – Great research as always by this author.  All his work is very good, but this one is still my favorite. I’d known (from Zig Ziglar and others), that sales is essentially service when it’s done right.  But I still held negative connotations.   This book helped me to put the pieces together and get rid of some mental deadwood.  Leaders sell.  Salespeople lead.  It’s all just part of the human experience.

The Leadership Challenge, by Jim Kouzes & Barry Posner – I have no idea why it took me so long to discover Kouzes & Posner.  Model the way, inspire a shared vision, enable others to act, and encourage the heart.  Simple in concept, brilliant in application.  They are constantly fine-tuning their work based on one of the most impressive collections of data I’ve ever seen.

Who Do You Want Your Customer to Become?  by Michael Schrage – Seth Godin mentioned this ebook on a podcast, so I looked it up.  Great companies make change for a living. If Association Bridge ever stops making change, we’re quitting the business.

The Excellence Dividend  – Meeting the Tech Tide with Work That Wows and Jobs That Last, by Tom Peters – I saved the best for last.  Mr. Peters has been a major influence on my business thinking for a long time.  Along with Bennis’ Leaders, Peters’ 1982 In Search of Excellence created a foundation for my thinking on organizational dynamics and leadership.  The eight principles of In Search still hold up; a bias for action, close to the customer, autonomy & entrepreneurship, productivity through people, hands-on/value driven, stick to what the company knows best, simple form/lean staff, and simultaneous loose-tight properties.  The 2018 edition to his long list of titles (most of which still also hold up) goes back to the well on these core principles and applies them to the realities of today and tomorrow.  Dividend is packed with meaty content, the result of the author’s 30+ years of experience and incredibly voracious study habits.  He’s done the work and he’s clearly trying to give it all away. Even if all you did was use this book to compile a reading list by culling the 7 quadrazillion books he references and quotes from, it would be worth it.  I will be re-reading and studying this book well into 2019.

Plus One – A Special Place for Seth

I’ve enjoyed all of Seth Godin’s books.  Tribes  was particularly insightful in helping to see the context of humans, digital interactions, companies, and relationships.  What Does it Sound Like When You Change Your Mind is still about the coolest gift anyone ever gave me.

If all you have is a few minutes to chew on something, you might want to try reading his daily blog.  You have the time. Some of his blogs are two sentences.  But they’ll get you thinking.  I am also getting a lot out of his Akimbo podcast.

Honorable Mentions From the Past & Very Useful 2018 Reads

Outliers, by Malcolm Gladwell – There is lots of debate about the validity of the 10,000 hours to mastery idea.  Whether that’s a magic number or not, who cares?  The principles of showing up and sticking with it work.

Grit – The Power of Passion and Perseverance, by Angela Duckworth – Recommended by both Tom Peters & Association Bridge’s own Chantu Chea.  A very balanced and thorough analysis…once again, the value of showing up.

Quiet – The Power of Introverts in a World That Can’t Stop Talking, by Susan Cain – Also recommended by both Mr. Peters & Chantu, this was a real eye-opener.

Team of Teams by Stanley McChrystal  – Practical leadership models to deal with a lightning-fast, complex world, with some pretty insightful myth-busting to boot.

The Culture Engine by S. Chris Edmonds – Provides a useful framework to help organizations develop intentional culture.  This is going to be a big theme for us in 2019.

Known, by Mark W. Schaefer – I wrote about this one earlier this year.

The Power of Full Engagement: Managing Energy, Not Time, Is the Key to High Performance and Personal Renewal, by Jim Loehr & Tony Schwartz  –  Great insights.  I tweaked the Time Management Multi-Tasking & Other Myths program.

The Advantage, by Patrick Lencioni – Another one recommended by Mr.  Peters and also by my friend Jim Fisher. Good insights into organizational culture.

If You Made It This Far, You Are DA BOMB…Final Thoughts

Well, that’s it for 2018.  I hope the T-Rex Blog has given you some ideas, perhaps even a little inspiration.  Thank you for reading. Thank you even more for your input.  And thanks even more than that for passing forward any great ideas that you collect from any source to benefit others.

Final ponderings (thanks for indulging me…). This is just a business blog.  Though it’s easy to get things out of whack, please remember that business isn’t life, it’s just a part of it.  As such, the way we decide to do our business matters.  Be serious about how you do your business, but don’t take yourself too seriously.  Care enough to make a difference.  You can’t fix the world, but you can make a little difference in someone’s life every day.  Sharing love can take many forms.  Please share.  Take care of others.  Take care of yourself.  Remember who, and what, is most important, and do your business in a way that honors that.

Sunrise 12/31/18
Attitude, Best Practices, business life, Emotional Intelligence, leadership

Outer Space

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It ain’t about you.  How many times have we heard that?  And yet, we silly old humans forget.  It’s understandable.  Things go wrong, we feel before we think (a biological fact), and we react.  Those reactions are egocentric.  The chemicals jetting through our bodies are some powerful stuff!  Managing this process so that our outward manifestations take into consideration that we are not the center of the universe requires practice, self-awareness, and perhaps a ton of self-control.  Mastering ourselves can be a huge factor in job satisfaction, not to mention peace of mind.

Me, Me, Me – Oops!

The word “context” keeps popping into my head.   When our context is insular, it’s flawed. We miss things.  We make mistakes.  We hurt others.  We create drama.  There are serious consequences when we fail to recognize others’ experiences, ideas and cultures.

I recall my reaction once in dealing with a particularly egocentric community association member.  After trying to appeal to reason in every way I could imagine, I gave up.  I changed gears and said, “The thing is, there’s only one sun in the solar system for a reason.  If a person tried to be the center of the system, all the gravitational fields would get messed up and the planets might crash. It just wouldn’t work!”  It was so random she actually had to stop and think about it.  I’m not so sure I would recommend such a facetious approach as one of the “magic beans” of communication, but it actually worked.  At least I didn’t get fired.

Finding Context

One antidote?  Slow down.  See the context of things, events, people and the complicated intersections in between.  Perhaps most importantly, find the underlying principles that can apply to the situation.  If we want help to create solutions and have a ghost of a chance for happiness and peace, we have GOT to get outside of ourselves.  The chart of the universe shown above makes us laugh.  But unless we see ourselves, our experience and our attitudes in the context of the larger world, the chart is accurate to one degree or another.

“Sometimes you have to give yourself away to get yourself back.” – tw

Yes, the prospect can evoke fear.  The impulse to react from our own standpoint is a form of self-defense.  The willingness to release self-interest for a moment might make us feel vulnerable.  I also see some irony here.  The tighter we hold onto a myopic perspective in order to protect ourselves, the more we put ourselves at risk to our detriment. We are less likely to be effective in working with others, less likely to adjust our course to work with changing circumstances, and less likely to find a deeper satisfaction in work and in life. It is vital to develop and grow emotional intelligence.

As you see yourself and your circumstances more clearly in the greater context of what and who are around you, things start to click.  And you grow.  I love the way the late Jim Valvano put it, “A person doesn’t become whole until he becomes part of something bigger than himself.”

Best Practices, business life, Culture, Emotional Intelligence, Human Resources, leadership

Oops

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What happens when the fecal matter makes impact with the circular air-moving device? How individuals and organizations react in this moment of truth will say a lot about individual and group emotional intelligence and the culture of the organization. The secret lies in the questions asked when a mistake is made and the order in which they are asked.

What Are You Really Made Of?

Here’s how effective people and healthy organizations approach every mistake:

1. WHAT? Exactly what happened? Do we have all the facts? Only when this is clear, go to question #2.

2. HOW? How did the error happen? Have we identified the root cause, differentiating them from the symptoms? After diagnosing the mechanics of the issue, it’s time for question #3.

3. WHY? Was this a system issue, a performance issue, or a combination of the two? Do NOT shortcut this step with assumptions. Now finally…

4. WHO? Time to talk about the lessons learned – a constructive follow-up with whoever may have been involved (INCLUDING BOSSES!). Now we are all a little smarter.

Post mortem, the healthy organization will make adjustments to address root causes. It will improve systems. And it will take opportunities to learn from mistakes. Look for patterns. If all the other questions are addressed and the same “who” keeps popping up, only then is a tough personnel action warranted.

Is that what you and your organization do? Or…

The Flip Side

Guess what question unhealthy organizations and ineffective leaders ask first? ”WHO DID THAT?” Sadly, every single time I’ve shared this concept, the people in the room give me the answer before I have to say it. They’ve all seen it at some point. The problem is that starting with “Who?” makes it difficult, if not impossible, to accurately answer any of the other more crucial questions.

Why?  Because Bang & Blame is a horrid leadership model.  In a culture where blame is the rule, people will rarely stick their necks out to do more than absolutely necessary.  It’s just not worth the risk.  Their defensive mindset kills any hope for excellent performance.  They are unlikely to be forthcoming when things go wrong.  And that applies to those who choose to stay, because Bang & Blame pushes self-starters out the door.

Give Up Perfection To Get Closer To It

I know that might sound ridiculous, but it’s true. Everyone will err from time to time. In the human condition, all mistakes are opportunities to learn. There’s a classic business tome about an IBM exec from the sixties whose ill-fated decision cost the company dearly. Upon being summoned to CEO Thomas Watson’s office, he prepared for the inevitable firing. Watson reportedly asked, “Do you know why I’ve asked you here?”

The executive replied, “I assume I’m here so you can fire me.”

“Fire you?” Watson replied, “Of course not. I just spent $10 million educating you.”

There are two choices. You can hold everyone to an unrealistic standard, punish imperfection, drive people into butt-covering cocoons, encourage bare minimum performance and build a culture that will aspire to mediocrity at best. Or you can embrace mistakes as opportunities for learning and find that error rate actually decreases as you build a culture of empowerment, personal responsibility, trust and growth. Only one of these is a sustainable model for profit and customer service success.

Attitude, business life, Emotional Intelligence, Management

The Party’s Over- Now What? Maintaining Perspective & Balance in the Wake of a Terminated Business Relationship

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Whether you are an employee of a management company, an onsite manager of a community association, or a professional service provider, odds are at some time in your career you will be involved in a business relationship that for one reason or another reaches the end of its useful life. You shake hands, wish each other well, and move on. But in reality, doing business is a human endeavor and damage can be done if you don’t recognize and address the mental and emotional toll that can sometimes linger from a business “break-up.” You can be technically proficient in handling transitions without always giving full consideration of the human factors that might be involved.

Over the years it has pained me to watch managers, in particular, come away scarred from difficult client or employment relationships. Those who throw themselves into their work are hit hardest. Despite what they may view as Herculean efforts in less-than-favorable circumstances, they come away feeling unappreciated and often abused. Professional detachment to the point of uncaring, over-defensiveness, diminished standards of performance or conduct, and profound cynicism are only a few of the telltale signs of unhealthy scarring.

I’ve been so fortunate to have had the opportunity to reflect on these things with people of uncommon wisdom. They have shared with me pearls that have proven valuable in professional and personal life. I care about all you dedicated professionals working in the community association field. I want you to be healthy and happy. So then, since sharing is caring…

Lesson #1: Learn

“When the Devil says fire is hot, he knows what he is talking about.” Credit for this one goes to my primary professional mentor, Arthur Dubin. He shared this with me some years ago while we were working with a particularly unreasonable board president. Though I have to state for the record that the statement assumes certain theological concepts that I personally believe to be rather spurious, the words create a picture that makes an important point: While being deluged by unfair and possibly irrational attacks, it is very easy to miss a salient and accurate critique. You may feel compelled to defend yourself as if you were perfect or minimize shortcomings in the face of intense scrutiny. It might seem like your client or employer expected you to be perfect. Well, you weren’t. And that’s OK, but even minor issues, if not identified and corrected quickly, can become major issues. As painful as it might be to admit mistakes, it’s way more painful to repeat them. If a criticism is true, it is true regardless of the identifying source. The challenge is hearing it. So, be brutally honest…could you have done anything better?

Lesson #2: Eyes Forward

It turns out being a lousy driver was one of the best things that ever happened to me…. “Glance in rear-view mirror anytime you apply the brakes.” I got that one in a driver improvement class many moons ago. The lesson literally saved the instructor’s life one day on the beltway. He glanced in the mirror as traffic slowed and noticed that the truck driver behind him wasn’t paying attention. He took corrective action, changed lanes, and avoided the deadly rear end collision that befell the driver that had just moments before been in front of him. When things stop in front of you, like the end of a business relationship, it pays to look behind just long enough to learn the lessons necessary to avoid getting rear ended (Lesson #1)— and then it‘s got to be eyes forward. You are smarter now. Focus on what’s in front of you. Take action to get where you need to go. It doesn’t pay to beat yourself up over the past. If you keep staring into the rear view mirror, you’ll wreck. Once Lesson #1 is done, move on.

Lesson #3: It’s Your House

This one is courtesy of the late “Uncle Mike” Gilmore. He had a well-earned reputation as one who had seen it all in this business. He was a great sounding board. One afternoon he let me whine on for several minutes about a situation. And then…

“Tommy, what’s the most valuable real estate you own?”

“I guess it’s my house.”

“Wrong. It’s here (points to his head). Let’s say you owned a house and decided to rent it out. Would you let just anybody move in?”

“Of course not. I’d qualify them to make sure they’d pay the rent and wouldn’t trash the place.”

“Right. So if you’d go through all that for a house, why would you do the same with the most valuable real estate you own? Never let negative people rent space in your mind.”

Whoa. Of course he was right. Even if you successfully apply lessons one and two and have done everything you should do, sometimes those negative comments might play back in your memory. A new comment might trigger an old memory. There is no benefit to dwelling on them. You can’t control others, you can only control yourself. Why give up any of that control by allowing others’ negativity to reside in your head? Lock the door.

“Never let negative people rent space in your mind” – Mike Gilmore

It’s not easy to maintain a dedication to excellence in a balanced, healthy way. But you have to. It is the best way to be good to our clients and good to ourselves at the same time. Imagine that—a win-win.

If things don’t work out sometimes, it’s OK to hurt. Just not too long. It sounds trite, but it’s true – every experience can make you better and stronger. Please don’t burn out. And please don’t sell out. We need you.

Book Reviews, business life, Startups

Book Review #2 – Learning From a Humble Master

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The Backstory

I did a lot of curation in the early days of trying to figure out how to set up my digital platform. Through Twitter, I stumbled upon Shonali Burke, the Queen of Measurement in the public relations field. Her Waxing Unlyrical blog  became one of my resources. I noticed Shonali frequently retweeted Mark Schaefer. At the time, a good amount of it was a bit over my head. She convinced me to attend a conference in Washington D.C. at which Mark was a speaker, despite the fact that I was a fish out of water. I was glad that I left my comfort zone and showed up. Mark was an excellent teacher. He went deep without sacrificing pragmatism. I could tell he was an introverted fellow with a passion for sharing thoughts and ideas. I got the sense he dug into subjects and let the data lead him to his conclusions. My kind of guy!

Flash forward to 2018. My platform was finally starting to take shape, but I knew I wasn’t doing it very well. Mark had published Known: The Handbook For Building And Unleashing Your Personal Brand In The Digital Age.  I have a general aversion to “how to” books, but I decided maybe this was the time to learn from Mark (see note on “Krios” below). It was a good decision. I will never be an internet superstar, nor do I want to be. But I am much clearer on how I can use the medium in a useful way as I take my professional mission farther and deeper.

The Summary

Known is a “how to” book done right. The lessons are taught through research, personal experience, and by the experience of others who have mastered their digital brand in distinctive ways. All the lessons are founded in the fundamentals of life and business, and that’s why they can work. Mark sticks to The Why and stays grounded. He is a humble myth buster. He is also a master of realism, tackling the challenges of the human condition in a balanced and thoughtful way.

He breaks the task of digital branding into four steps– place, space, fuel and finally, creating an actionable audience. Along the way he dismantles the “follow your dream” Kool Aid and integrates the principles of grit into the process of engaging in any meaningful endeavor. He provides invaluable advice on content development. He also explains how you might fit other media, such as book writing and public speaking, into your platform. In each section, you’ll find real-life practical tips. (Spoiler Alert: Tip #20 for content creation is to “drink a beer.” (114))

I was especially impressed with Chapter Three – “Finding Your Sustainable Interest.” Mark introduces seven exercises that he has used at his seminars. They are more than marketing exercises; they are valuable for anyone looking to find or clarify their career path.
Finally, Mark introduces you to “Stars of Known,” actual case studies that show how all this can come together for distinctively different people and situations.

The Gold

There’s so much gold in here that it’s hard to pick. Here are some of my personal favorites:

Page 12: “Passion without a plan is a hobby.”

Page 23: “The key to success isn’t necessarily a passion, it’s finding a sustainable interest…”

Page 30: “Everybody has the chance to be known and realize their goals and dreams, but not everybody will succeed. Some will listen to the gurus and ‘follow their dream’ into oblivion without the plan they need to give them a chance to succeed. Some will grow impatient and give up too soon. Many will be unwilling to devote the time and consistent hard work needed to make it happen.”

Page 40: “Passion…that’s common. Endurance is rare.”

Page 69: “Becoming known is probably a multi-year journey. But the journey must start. You must begin, even if it’s not perfect.”

Page 107: Practical steps to answer the question, “What kind of content is right for you?”

Page 110: Awesome advice to help answer the question, “How do you find time for this?”

Page 151:The description of the “Alpha Audience” was an Aha! moment for me.

Chapter 9: The five inspiring stories of Known . Yes!

Page 194: Application of 2 Greek words for time, Chronos (chronological time) and Kairos (“the right time”). So insightful.

Page 199: Overcoming fear and the imposter syndrome.

Page 219: “Consistency can heal a multitude of faults – and maybe it eventually turns into talent.” – Anna Blake

Page 223: “It’s your job to make that fire (your content) worth gathering around.” – Chris Brogan

Page 225: “Provide value with the expectation that you’ll never receive anything in return. Serve your audience with your arms wide open, not with a hand extended.” -Shawn Van Dyke

Attitude, Book Reviews, business life, values

Book Review #1 – Lessons and a Tribute

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The Backstory

For my first Tomasaurus Rex Blog book review, I chose one with a very personal connection. It is one of my favorite business/life stories. Over the course of my long association with Arthur Dubin back in the Dubin & Associates days, he shared a number of anecdotes about a man he knew in his youth. As near as I could make out, this big-hearted fellow named Jerry had been a big deal at some point. From Arthur’s stories, I gathered Jerry had owned the Philadelphia Eagles. I learned he regularly treated kids to Eagles and Baltimore Bullets games. I knew he had lost his fortune but was not clear exactly how. But the real story was the man behind all that. The Jerry that Arthur described was a kind and generous man who has treated more people to restaurant meals than anyone in history. A famous practical joker, he also had a great sense of humor.

What I did not know when we joined Zalco Realty in June of 2000 was that Jerry Wolman was a real estate phenomenon in the late 50’s and 60’s, that he had embarked on building the tallest skyscraper in the U.S. and that his empire collapsed as a result of issues related to that project. I did not know that Zalco Realty’s owner and chairman had been associated with Jerry and that Zalco’s beginning was in some way connected to the remains of Jerry’s real estate holdings. I also did not know that Jerry kept an office at Zalco.

So we Dubin employees moved into Zalco’s Silver Spring office as part of the merger arrangement. My next door office neighbor was this extremely friendly older fellow named Jerry. As we chatted amiably about life and business, I noticed that the guy especially lit up when talking about two things – his family and sports. He exuded kindness and generosity of spirit, one of those people for whom you sense you would be happy to do anything for. I got the feeling I could learn a lot from this guy. One day I told Jerry I’d love to better understand the art of the real estate deals and pick his brain. I explained how I would love to get off the financial hamster wheel one day but that I was limited by a lack of capital. Jerry told me, “Aw Tommy, you don’t need money to make money. You just need balls!” So old school.

Then one day our discussion turned again to sports. He casually mentioned he once owned the Eagles, but it was a long time ago when I wouldn’t have known any of the players. Jerry had not yet grasped that I am a bit of a sports history nut. After reeling off the names of half a dozen or so players, his eyes flashed as he broke into that big Jerry smile and he exclaimed, “You know!!” After a few months of being next door to the guy, the light bulb finally turned on. I walked into Arthur’s office and asked, “That guy Jerry I’ve been talking to for the last 6 months – that’s The Jerry?” Arthur, incredulous, replied, “You didn’t know that?”

Fully enlightened, I thoroughly enjoyed my time with Jerry until he moved out of Silver Spring and into an office at the Ellicott City spring water bottling business he was working on at the time. We caught up every so often. It was always a delight. Jerry was the kind of person you want to be like when you grew up, in part because in some laudable ways he never grew up. He was the guy you wanted to introduce to all the special people in your life. I was grateful my wife got to meet the man I had talked about so much before she passed. As I learned more about his history and did a little research on the Philadelphia Flyers and the John Hancock Center, I was amazed at his irrepressibly positive attitude. The fact that he never expressed any bitterness whatsoever towards those who appeared to have done everything from serving him poorly to being outright disloyal showed me the meaning of grace.

The Summary

I knew Jerry was a class act, but my appreciation grew considerably after reading the book. He never claimed to be a perfect man, just a regular guy from Shenandoah (“Shendo”) PA. The book chronicles his life from boyhood to his chance arrival in Washington, DC. He kept his eyes open, thought creatively, and found opportunity, eventually presiding over a $100 million (roughly $750M in 2018 dollars) real estate development and management empire. His business practices were old school, to say the least. Deals were sealed with handshakes. Your word was your bond. Eventually, he lived his dream and bought the Philadelphia Eagles. Soon after, his holdings included the Spectrum arena and the fledgling Philadelphia Flyers. Then it all came apart. Construction faults in his most ambitious construction project and his resolve to remain personally responsible for the business required him to liquidate his assets, including his beloved Eagles. Along the way and well after the financial fall, Jerry touched countless lives with his kindness and generosity. In the end, many of those to whom he gave grew in material wealth. Some owed their fortunes to him. But with the love Jerry shared and got back from friends and family, he remained the richest of them all.

The Gold

Jerry’s story is a touching and, in the final analysis, uplifting story of what a person can accomplish. It also teaches how to recognize the failures of the past and admit errors while staying focused on the present. Success and riches of real value transcend cash, power and toys. It’s about family, and dreams, and effort, and people, and giving, and love. I don’t know anyone who has given as much away as Jerry did without ever keeping score. Naturally, proceeds from the book went to a charity close to Jerry’s heart.

Jerry’s inscription in my copy of the book. A tough guy unafraid to express love – pure Jerry

We lost Jerry in 2013. I wish you could have met him. I miss him, but his impact on my life remains. I’ll tell Jerry stories as long as I live. Soon, very few will remember the man. The book is already hard to get. Don’t miss out.  Amazon still has a few copies.

Attitude, business life, community associations, Management

3 Kinds of Jobs

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In my late teens I had a ridiculously intelligent friend. Dave was an engineering student at the University of Maryland. I remember him lamenting how he missed a perfect score on the verbal part of the SAT by 40 points. Of course he aced the math part of the test. Dave’s book smarts were most impressive. But what I appreciated more was his analytical approach to life in general.

Hassle

Dave worked a part-time job assembling printed circuit boards. He fussed about his boss, he fussed about the job, and he fussed about the foibles and folly of business in general. Finally, he came to an epiphany. With impish grin and eyebrows raised, he proclaimed. “I now understand business. The company and the job titles are irrelevant. There are actually only three jobs in business; Hassle Creators, Hassle Transferers, and Hassle Receivers. If you are a Hassle Receiver, do anything you can do to get promoted to Hassle Transferer or quit. Of course, the best job is Hassle Creator, but that’s usually the owner.”

Dave’s Three Job Theorem still crosses my mind every so often. It still makes me laugh. In a narrow, simplistic sort of way, it’s true. It’s also a bit naïve. Owners deal with plenty of hassle. There are no pure Hassle Creators.

Job/Career/Calling

Years later I found an even more studious approach to the workplace. Kouzes and Posner’s The Leadership Challenge  recognizes that people tend to see what they do for a living in three different ways; as a job, as a career, and as calling. Not nearly as funny as Dave’s Three Job Theorem, but a tad more refined. And while Dave’s categories were hierarchical, Kouzes & Posner’s are applicable to any position. It’s an attitude.

The three approaches speak to a level of commitment and personal satisfaction. A job? 9-5. Punch the clock A means to an end. A career? You do it because you have a plan. A calling? That one always repelled me a little before studying Kouzes & Posner. To me, “calling” used to imply some sort of divine will, and that seemed a bit over the top. After I stumbled upon community association management (like so many of us did), I realized that I felt drawn to the work. But I still didn’t buy in to any kind of personal manifest destiny. The clouds didn’t part, there was no voice from heaven. I just enjoyed the bigger picture of what I did. There were parts of the job I was not thrilled with. Yet, there were elements of the work I enjoyed very much. Taking care of people, fixing things, helping people enjoy where they lived, making a difference in the lives of others, and helping leaders find fulfillment in their service all drew…or called…me.

I also found myself repelled by the idea that everyone should find some mystical perfect situation. Sure, seemed to find their “calling’ early in life. But it seemed to me that many more found it later after developing their skills and interests over time. There was work involved, and it was rarely perfect. The gold was in the process to get there.

A Choice – Work

Kouzes & Posner helped me to realize that while a calling could theoretically be divine in nature, it is primarily finding things to do that were in harmony with your personal values and goals. That is what draws, or “calls” you. I remember the beauty of one of the examples cited in the The Leadership Challenge. A hospital janitor, a position my friend would certainly rate as a Hassle Receiver, viewed has job as a calling. Why? He explained, “I help people get better.” Not only did he recognize that the quality of his work made the environment healthier, but was called by the ability to make a bigger impact. He found that the way he did the work – the way he interacted with patients and their family and visitors, with a smile, a kind word, a simple kindness – made all the difference. I seriously doubt the gentleman grew up thinking this was his dream job. But his life experience and attitude put him in a position to see what he did for a living as a calling.

Grit by Angela Duckworth and Known by Mark Schaeffer do a great job debunking the cosmic calling concept. There’s no reason to feel pressured if you can’t magically find your calling. Try stuff. Learn stuff. Notice when you are at your best and figure out why it worked. And you calling doesn’t have to have anything to do with earning money. If a job allows you to pursue a calling, it’s worth it.

Great/Neutral/Bad

Which leads me to one of my old definitions of the 3 types of jobs. I used to say a great job helps you to be the person you want to be. It energizes you, inspires you, and fortifies you. A neutral job doesn’t necessarily help you to be the person you want to be, but it doesn’t make it too hard, either. You have space to grow and at least some opportunities to live your values through your work. I defined a bad job as one that makes it very hard for you to live by your values. This kind of job sucks the life out of you, leaves you exhausted and requires a herculean effort just to show up every day.

It’s Up To You

No matter how you analyze your work, what you do with it is a choice. One person’s horrible job is a dream job for someone else. Knowing yourself, what motivates you, and the values and goals you choose are at the beginning of navigating your path.

I’ve never been a fan of the term “work-life balance” because it gives work equal value to life. That’s nuts. Work is a part of life. The key is the extent to which your work is in harmony with your purpose. And it does not matter how. I know people who hold seemingly mundane part-time jobs who are happy as clams. Why? Because that job allows them to do the volunteer work they love. And this allows them to find joy when working a job others might find meaningless

Getting this right usually takes time. Recognize that not only what you do but how you do it can make a big difference in enjoying what you do. Things change and you’ll grow. Who knows, a neutral job might become a good one, even a great one. I will always treasure an email I received from a manager who invited me to attend her PCAM induction ceremony.  She wrote, “The first time you interviewed me, you asked if community association management was a job, a career or a calling for me. At that point, I answered that it was a career, but now I can truly say it is a calling.”

As the late, great Jim Rohn said, “Accept all experience. See what it can teach you.” Whatever role work has in your life, you will probably have to spend a good chunk of your life doing it. You might as well find a way to enjoy it!

Attitude, business life, Human Resources, Management

Get Stuff Done and Have Some Fun – A 20 Question Checkup From the Neck Up

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It’s Labor Day here in the U.S. We celebrate it by taking a day off. Something about that always made me laugh a little. The truth is, “celebration” and “labor” are rarely found in the same sentence. Apparently, somewhere between 70% and 90%  of employees do not feel engaged in their work. My experience working closely with community association professionals leaves me unsurprised (and saddened) by those statistics.

I got some interesting comments about an online job bank announcement I posted a few years ago for a client. I must have been a little frustrated when I wrote something along the lines of “butt covering, blame shifting, can’t do managers need not apply.” I may have used the term “retread…” I was serious. A burned out, disengaged manager just wouldn’t cut it. The client had a keen BS-o-Meter and needed somebody who would walk the walk.

It occurs to me I’ve developed a list of contrasts in my head – behaviors, character traits, and perspectives that seem to reveal the difference between managers who excel and enjoy what they do, and those who seem mired in mediocrity and misery. I use these to evaluate manager candidates. I also use them as a self-test to see if I am falling into non-productive habits. Here goes…

  1. Am I more bored or more curious?
  2. Am I intellectually lazy or looking to learn?
  3. Am I prepared or am I winging it?
  4. Am I focused on personal credit or team success?
  5. Am I covering by butt or am I taking ownership?
  6. Am I setting a positive tone and creating a space for others to mirror me, or am I mirroring others and leaving mood up to chance?
  7. Am I looking for ways to make a difference (no matter how small) or am I doing just enough to get by?
  8. Am I frowning more or smiling more?
  9. Am I stuck in the weeds or am I seeing the bigger picture?
  10. Has my thinking become task-based (my job is done when I check the box), or results-based (my job is done when the goal is met)?
  11. Am I spending more time explaining procedures or the principles behind the procedures?
  12. Am I spending more time explaining why things can’t be done or getting things done?
  13. Do I have a bias for action or stasis?
  14. Am I holding myself accountable or making excuses?
  15. Am I complaining about unfairness (that which I cannot control) or am I being my best self (that which I can control)?
  16. Am I focusing on the disappointments of the day or what I can learn from them?
  17. What words am I using more often – us and we, or I and me?
  18. Is it getting to be a J-O-B or is it a career (or better yet, a calling)?
  19. Am I thinking or just doing?
  20. I am blindly following my client’s instructions, or am I helping them make educated decisions?

The old adage is correct – you reap what you sow. When you focus on doing better and being better, you are far more likely to feel better and get more out of every experience. It’s so tempting to take the easy path, to be negative, and to blame others. I guarantee you see people around you who do that every day of their unhappy lives. That stuff rubs off. That’s why I like to do a checkup from the neck up from time to time. And if you pass the test and your situation is still crummy, perhaps it’s time to apply #13 and find a new situation.

Do you have a contrasting question to add to the list? Please share!

business life, Startups

The Crucible of Overwhelm

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It happens.  Sometimes self-inflicted, sometimes thrust upon us, and very frequently a combination of the two.  There will be periods of time when there’s just way too much to do.  Your mental RAM maxes out and your brain freezes up right when you need to move quickly from one thing to another.

Over the past couple of months, the circle of death of my mental laptop has been a frequent visitor.  All the work required to prepare to launch into self-employment again is bringing back memories. Neural pathways I thought were long gone have reappeared, for better and for worse.  I’ve been busier over the last thirty days than I’ve been in a very long time.  It will no doubt remain that way through August.  It’s a good problem to have in one way – I get to eat!  At the same time, these are the experiences that test one’s mettle.  The pressures that come from having way more on your plate than you can reasonably handle creates a crucible.  I started thinking about what I’ve learned through the years and watch myself act and react to the challenges of the day.  The process is often painful, but also beneficial. I’m remembering what I already knew and learning new stuff.  Here are a few things that keep flashing through my mind.  If you feel overwhelmed from time to time, I hope they help you in some way.

1.       Better a purpose than a plan.  When the pressure is on, sticking rigidly to the plan can be disastrous.  Things never work out perfectly, especially when there are time crunches and other uncontrollable variables impacting you.  Everything seems to take longer than you expect.  The stuff and people you thought you could count on might not come through.  Overwhelm teaches you to prioritize and reprioritize.  As conditions change, plans change.   Be clear on your purpose, your goal and the general direction to get there.  Be flexible or you’ll drive yourself batty.

2.       There’s gotta be light at the end of the tunnel.  If you know overwhelm is temporary, it’s doable.  If there’s no end in sight, you’re doomed.  Some people live in constant overwhelm.  They won’t live long.  The perpetual cortisol’s gonna kill them. If you can honestly say you’ve done everything in your power to manage the situation, and still can’t see the light (or worse yet, realize it’s a train), then perhaps it’s time to change direction.

3.       You’re gonna suck sometimes.  It’s OK.  Overwhelm may bring out the best in you, but it can definitely bring out the worst.  Little mistakes pop up.  Unclear communication mucks up the works, whether you’re speaking or listening.  Distracted actions, forgetfulness, you name it.  Stress + velocity (+ sleep deprivation) = errors.  Do your best to mitigate them, but don’t beat yourself up too much.  Look for support, ask for support and appreciate support.  Get a good proofreader. Or else you’ll find that this is where long-lost bad habits come back with a vengeance.  I grew up with a hot temper.  I’ve worked for decades to manage it and have gotten fairly good at it.  Well…it’s back.  The crucible is calling me out.  Neural pathways are burned in our brains by chance or by choice and they don’t go away.  The triggers are still there.  So, be aware of those triggers and do your best to choose to be your best self.  You won’t be perfect but don’t give up. 

4.       You’re gonna do amazing things.  Crucibles have huge upsides.  Stripped of the luxury of time to doubt yourself, you’ll do things before you think you are ready and they’ll work out just fine.  There’s a lesson there.  Pushed to what you thought was your limit, you’ll do more.  Or better. Or both.  You might be too busy to see it now. But you’ll look back and realize how remarkable you were.

5.       Remember your Why.  There was a reason you decided this thing was worth it.  Keep that vision close in mind.  Remember how this ties into your personal governing values.

6.       Moments matter.  This is when it’s really hard to stay in the moment.  You’ll be tempted to be in the future a little too much. Annnnd go back to #3.   You’ll find yourself thinking and saying, “I don’t have time.”  Just remember this is primarily an emotional response, not an analytical one.  You probably don’t have time to spend on superfluous things.  But you certainly have time to invest a few moments to lock eyes with the person you are talking to and really listen to the whole sentence.  To look up and appreciate a beautiful blue sky, to laugh, to smile, to connect.  And perhaps most importantly, stop, drop and roll.  Pausing will feel counterintuitive.  Yet, doing so for a minute or two to take a breath, to analyze, to recalibrate, and to refresh will be a time investment in the long run. 

7.       Be grateful (and be ready to apologize).  Say thanks.  A lot.  And realize you’re going to miss a cue or a nuance.  You’ll say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing.  Be quick to apologize.

8.       Feed your soul.  Hopefully you have a routine that allows you the time and space to invest in yourself.  In overwhelm, those routines tend to fall by the wayside.  It’s best if you can stick with them, but if you fall off the wagon, beware of all-or-nothing thinking.  If you can’t seem to do everything to feed yourself, do something.   I’ve found audio learning in the car has been a great benefit.  I also thought about little things that fill me up and will look for opportunities to enjoy them – the sound of my daughter’s laugh, watching the grandkids play, quiet sunsets, just a page or two from an upbuilding book or blog or article, a little prayer, a smile from a friend.  They all light me up.  They all remind me of the best things in life.

What feeds your soul?  If you can’t eat a full meal right now, at least grab a nice, healthy, little snack.

Hang in there.  It sounds trite but it really is all good.  The crucible helps you see yourself more clearly.  You’ll learn and you’ll grow.  It won’t go exactly as you planned, but you’ll be in a different place when it’s all said and done.  And regardless of the exact result, what you learn along the way will make it worth it.  Even if you fall flat on your face, as long as the process leads you to see, appreciate and live your values more completely and your life more fully, you win.

 

business life, Communications, Magic Beans, Management

Magic Beans #3 – Right Question, Right Time

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This installment of the Magic Beans comes right from the front lines.

Last week, an on-site manager emailed a message with the subject line “Escrow Question:”

“I received a call today from a mortgage company trying to close a loan for next week and the budget sent them was years old. Can we discuss making sure those documents issued through HomeWise are current?”

Three emails later, the person responsible for coordinating documents with HomeWise (the third party provider of resale disclosures and lender questionnaires) made a very smart statement:

“I would like to know the confirmation number for the order. The budget that is attached is what was uploaded to HomeWise…and has been included with 2018 resale packages.”

She was pretty well freaked out, concerned how an old budget could have been provided to a lender.

Two or three emails later, everything became clear. In the course of obtaining the order number, the lender took another look at the documents.  He realized he misunderstood what he was reviewing. He confirmed all was well, and apologized for the confusion.  The on-site manager in turn, apologized to the two people involved on the management company’s end. He said he erred by “trusting that the mortgage lender knew what he was talking about.”  Everything got done and the loan will close.  But it took several emails and an hour or so of combined work time from all the persons who became involved.

Breaking it Down

  • For whatever reason (perhaps moving too quickly, having a bad day, inexperience…it could have been any number of reasons) the lender misinterpreted the documentation and reported an inaccurate condition.
  • The on-site manager assumed that the documents were incorrect . He punted to other parties without fully investigating what was actually going on.
  • It took a couple of emails to clarify what was actually going on. The email subject line muddied the waters (it wasn’t really an “escrow” question).

Lessons Learned

  • Things happen. People get confused.
  • Making assumptions compounds error.
  • Delegating or directing action before determining the actual problem wastes time.
  • Precise and accurate communication saves time.
  • The quicker someone takes full ownership of a problem and thinks it through, the quicker that problem gets solved.

The Magic Beans

This situation illustrates a very common occurrence. Most of us are moving very fast these days.   Sometimes we make assumptions, react without thinking a process all the way through. We kick the can to someone else, thinking we’ve taken the appropriate action. Unfortunately, this can trigger a burst of wasted time and effort.

What would have happened had the on site manager sought to identify the actual issue? What if he would have asked the lender a question using these Magic Beans?:

“Could you please do me a favor and send over what you are looking at so I can see what you are seeing?”

A review of the document would have revealed the solution in a couple of minutes. 2 people would have solved the problem. No one would have gotten anxious about a problem that didn’t even exist. Even if it turned out there was an error with the documents, everyone would have been in a better position to get to the solution more quickly.

Why do these Magic Beans work? Because, like all the Beans, the words tap into deeper issues:

  • It is a data-based inquiry. There is no ego, no accusation of error, no blame casting or blame shifting.
  • It is a solution-based inquiry. It creates a partnership focused on getting something done.
  • It creates a space to get at the nut of the issue – fast.

Think back about similar situations you may have been involved in. Could asking this question up front have saved you and your team time and energy?

In the heat of battle it is very easy to miss opportunities for efficient solutions.  Sometimes the right question at the right time can save time and effort. Making sure everyone is clear and on the same page is always a time investment.