All posts by Tom Willis

Thomas L. Willis, PCAM, has over 30 years of community association management experience. His professional mission is to create spaces where community association leaders and the professionals who serve them can successfully navigate the challenges they face, reach the goals they choose, find satisfaction and joy in their service, and make raving fans of association members. He founded Association Bridge, LLC in 2006 to provide customized training, support, and consulting services to community associations and businesses. He has authored several articles in Common Ground and Community Manager (CAI National periodicals), and for periodicals published by several local CAI chapters. He speaks frequently on industry topics around the country, is an instructor of CAI’s Board Leadership Development Workshop, and is on CAI National’s Professional Management Program Faculty. In addition to being a member of SEVA-CAI, Tom has served the Washington Metro Chapter as a committee chair, council chair and board member. For his efforts, that chapter has given him a number of awards, including Educator of the Year four times. He was elected to the WMCCAI Hall of Fame in 2014.
Communications, community associations, condo associations, Cooperatives, Customer Service, Emotional Intelligence, HOAs, Magic Beans

So You Think You Are a Good Listener and Other Delusions

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In his outstanding book The Excellence Dividend, Tom Peters states that listening is, among other things, “the heart and soul of engagement and thoughtfulness,” “the basis for collaboration and partnership and community,” “the linchpin of memorable service” and “the bedrock that underpins a commitment to EXCELLENCE.”

We know listening is important. Yet, studies show that we are not as good at it as we think we are. Fortunately, it is a learnable skill. It is an area in which we can always improve. There are lots of resources available to help us focus on the art of “active listening.” Strategies include:

  • Pay Attention: Use your eyes along with your ears. Look at someone intently enough long enough to determine eye color. What do their body language and facial expressions tell you? What are they NOT saying?
  • Acknowledge: People with problems typically want two things in this order: (1) To be heard (2) To get a solution. Until someone is confident you hear them, you have zero basis for dialogue. Give them all the cues you can to show you are engaged. Open your stance, nod, smile. Use verbal cues like my favorite, “Oh wow!” Let ‘em talk. Empathize.
  • Clarify: Ask questions. Then ask more questions. Get the whole picture. Repeat statements back and summarize. I am partial to the phrase “I think what I heard was…” This gives the other person permission to correct you if your understanding requires adjustment.
  • Ignore Your Biases: We are all biased. We all make assumptions. We all listen through the filters of our experience. You might think you are completely objective, but you’re not. Nobody is. Recognize your biases and assumptions and do your best to get past them.
  • Suspend Judgment: It’s easy to impute motives, especially if you have a history with someone. But even if you are correct, there is no value in thinking about them. Acknowledging others’ emotions does not mean judging the validity or even the appropriateness of those emotions. Do your best to focus on facts.
  • Take Notes: Careful note taking keeps you tuned in. It dignifies the other person. It’s a great tool for the open forum part of Board meetings.

Why Are We Lousy Listeners?

You might think you are a good listener. More than likely you are deluded. Even if you ARE right, you’ll still need to work on it. There are many obstacles to being a good listener. Be aware of them and work to overcome them.

  • Did I mention we are all biased and make assumptions? Imperfect humans are subjective by nature.
  • We focus on us, not the other person. Instead of fully listening, we are formulating our brilliant response, thinking about how wrong or annoying the other person is, or feeling rushed or stressed.
  • We may be “18 second interrupters”.  Peters cites research that indicates an average doctor will interrupt the patient presenting her symptoms after 18 seconds. The habit is not unique to doctors. Yikes.
  • Distractions…Oooo look – a squirrel!
  • Electronics: A disproportionate number of the problems people have asked me to fix in recent years originated with electronic communication issues. Some conversations need to be offline. Listening with only your eyes has its limitations. If a conversation starts to go sideways, pick up the phone. Or better, go face to face. If you’ve grown up communicating mostly through an electronic device, you’ll need to learn to use the full range of human abilities to be a good listener.
  • The big one… missing the bigger picture. Employing active listening strategies does not guarantee success.

It’s More Than Listening

Listening is part of something bigger. You can employ all the active listening strategies and still be ineffective. Your IQ can help you to learn the techniques, but your EQ, or emotional intelligence, will be the key to being a good listener and effective communicator.

If you are not genuinely interested in other people, in solving problems, and in making a difference, you are likely not listening well and people can smell it. It really does start with you. And people don’t always make it easy! I’ve often thought that a key to success is the ability to be respectful of others when their attitudes, words or actions are not what we would classify as respectable. Just remember, being empathetic with others doesn’t mean you have to agree with them. It does mean you have to listen hard enough to imagine what it might be like to be in their shoes. That can require a very high level of emotional intelligence.

Final Words

“The best way to persuade someone is with your ears, by listening to them.” – Dean Rusk

More gems from The Excellence Dividend – some of the “Good Listener Rules.”  (Buy the book. Seriously.):
• A good listener does not EVER take a call, even from her or his boss.
• A good listener takes EXTENSIVE notes.
• A good listener CALLS (better than e-mails d%#n it) a couple of hours later to thank the other for his or her time.
• A good listener the next day with a couple of follow-up queries.
• A good listener does NOT pontificate!

“Never miss a good chance to shut up.” – Will Rogers

change management, Communications, condo associations, Cooperatives, HOAs, leadership, Management

We Are All Geniuses…or Insane. Your Call!

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I’ve heard this quote, widely attributed to Albert Einstein, for a long time. As it turns out, he may or may not have ever said it. Thing is, it resonates so well that it’s easy to attach genius to the observation. So why not Einstein?

We silly humans tend to choose familiarity over change, even if it makes us miserable. I’ve noticed it in my world of community association boards and managers. Instead of taking an honest look at our results and trying to figure out how we got there, we’ll practice what Canadian brand transformation specialist Alan Quarry calls “glue diligence.” We do it because we’ve always done it that way, and dang it, we’ll never change!

…And then we blame everybody and everything else for our frustrations and failures…

One of the most important changes we can make is to see ourselves differently. For the longest time, the thought of being a salesperson made me cringe, just a little bit. But a few years ago, I realized sales and marketing were weak areas in my business skillset. It was time to hit the books. Funny thing is, a few of the writers I learned from in my study of leadership through the years started off as sales guys.

THE ART OF LEADERSHIP AND SALES

I didn’t fully connect the dots until I read Daniel Pink’s brilliant book To Sell is Human. It finally hit me. I gave myself permission to see myself and my role a little differently. The art of leadership is the process of helping people move from one place to another. Outstanding leaders share a vision so compellingly, people buy in because they see the benefit. Yes…BUY IN. Therefore, leaders sell and it’s a good thing.

Sales done right has never been ugly. Great salespeople believe they have something of value to sell, provide service and value first, and create a space where people can see themselves taking advantage of the value proposition. They are not selfishly manipulative. They are connecting dots. In essence, they don’t sell anything but an idea, creating a space for others to buy. They understand the wisdom of Jeffery Gitomer’s words, “Nobody likes to be sold, but everybody likes to buy.”

THE SUPERPOWER

The process of sales is the process of leadership. If we are to lead, we must sell. And to be truly effective, we need the superpower all great leaders and salespeople have – the ability to be an agent of change. This is leadership at its highest level – the ability to lead change, sensing when and how to initiate, support or facilitate it so that the stakeholders in an organization make it their own.

And yet, how many board members and community managers see themselves as leaders, salespeople and change agents?

WHAT WE HAVE HERE IS….A FAILURE TO COMMUNICATE

So many times it comes down to communications skills. We all have a tendency to communicate from our standpoint. Managers are trained to be technically proficient. Board members may be trained in governance. Unfortunately, as a result both are frequently ineffective. They are “doing their jobs” while missing the point. It has led to community association members disconnecting from their communities. Quoting from memory a comment from the Wall Street Journal, “People tend to have the same emotional connection to their HOAs as they do the Internal Revenue Service.” Ouch. It doesn’t have to be that way.

Think about how the message is received and you might realize you are coming off like Moses descending the mountain with stone tablets from God. Our message may be important, but it’s not THAT important. Worse, we may be accidently sending the message that people exist for the governing documents, when the truth is that those documents exist for the people. Or you may be coming off like a mean nun with a ruler, ready to whack all those disobedient children.

It doesn’t matter what you say. It only matters what is heard. And while you can never control what’s heard, you really need to think about the message and work your brains out to communicate from the receiver’s perspective, not your own. That’s what great leaders, salespeople, and change agents do. Make it real. Show the value. Explain the Why. And be patient. Because until you do these things, you’re just part of the increasing noise in your members’ lives.

INSANITY OR GENIUS?

If you are not connecting with your community or your client, if you are frustrated, it may be time to stop the insanity. Make a change. Start with how you see your role. Be leaders. Be sales people. Be change agents. Communicate like the best leaders and salespeople with the change agent superpowers.

Change the message and the delivery so it actually reaches your audience. It’s about them, not you. Make it real. Show value. Be a genius!

Thanks to Ed Loonam, PCAM, of Property Management Associates in Virginia Beach, Virginia, who gave me the inspiration to turn my SEVA-CAI CA Day sparks talk into a blog post!

business life, Startups

The Crucible of Overwhelm

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It happens.  Sometimes self-inflicted, sometimes thrust upon us, and very frequently a combination of the two.  There will be periods of time when there’s just way too much to do.  Your mental RAM maxes out and your brain freezes up right when you need to move quickly from one thing to another.

Over the past couple of months, the circle of death of my mental laptop has been a frequent visitor.  All the work required to prepare to launch into self-employment again is bringing back memories. Neural pathways I thought were long gone have reappeared, for better and for worse.  I’ve been busier over the last thirty days than I’ve been in a very long time.  It will no doubt remain that way through August.  It’s a good problem to have in one way – I get to eat!  At the same time, these are the experiences that test one’s mettle.  The pressures that come from having way more on your plate than you can reasonably handle creates a crucible.  I started thinking about what I’ve learned through the years and watch myself act and react to the challenges of the day.  The process is often painful, but also beneficial. I’m remembering what I already knew and learning new stuff.  Here are a few things that keep flashing through my mind.  If you feel overwhelmed from time to time, I hope they help you in some way.

1.       Better a purpose than a plan.  When the pressure is on, sticking rigidly to the plan can be disastrous.  Things never work out perfectly, especially when there are time crunches and other uncontrollable variables impacting you.  Everything seems to take longer than you expect.  The stuff and people you thought you could count on might not come through.  Overwhelm teaches you to prioritize and reprioritize.  As conditions change, plans change.   Be clear on your purpose, your goal and the general direction to get there.  Be flexible or you’ll drive yourself batty.

2.       There’s gotta be light at the end of the tunnel.  If you know overwhelm is temporary, it’s doable.  If there’s no end in sight, you’re doomed.  Some people live in constant overwhelm.  They won’t live long.  The perpetual cortisol’s gonna kill them. If you can honestly say you’ve done everything in your power to manage the situation, and still can’t see the light (or worse yet, realize it’s a train), then perhaps it’s time to change direction.

3.       You’re gonna suck sometimes.  It’s OK.  Overwhelm may bring out the best in you, but it can definitely bring out the worst.  Little mistakes pop up.  Unclear communication mucks up the works, whether you’re speaking or listening.  Distracted actions, forgetfulness, you name it.  Stress + velocity (+ sleep deprivation) = errors.  Do your best to mitigate them, but don’t beat yourself up too much.  Look for support, ask for support and appreciate support.  Get a good proofreader. Or else you’ll find that this is where long-lost bad habits come back with a vengeance.  I grew up with a hot temper.  I’ve worked for decades to manage it and have gotten fairly good at it.  Well…it’s back.  The crucible is calling me out.  Neural pathways are burned in our brains by chance or by choice and they don’t go away.  The triggers are still there.  So, be aware of those triggers and do your best to choose to be your best self.  You won’t be perfect but don’t give up. 

4.       You’re gonna do amazing things.  Crucibles have huge upsides.  Stripped of the luxury of time to doubt yourself, you’ll do things before you think you are ready and they’ll work out just fine.  There’s a lesson there.  Pushed to what you thought was your limit, you’ll do more.  Or better. Or both.  You might be too busy to see it now. But you’ll look back and realize how remarkable you were.

5.       Remember your Why.  There was a reason you decided this thing was worth it.  Keep that vision close in mind.  Remember how this ties into your personal governing values.

6.       Moments matter.  This is when it’s really hard to stay in the moment.  You’ll be tempted to be in the future a little too much. Annnnd go back to #3.   You’ll find yourself thinking and saying, “I don’t have time.”  Just remember this is primarily an emotional response, not an analytical one.  You probably don’t have time to spend on superfluous things.  But you certainly have time to invest a few moments to lock eyes with the person you are talking to and really listen to the whole sentence.  To look up and appreciate a beautiful blue sky, to laugh, to smile, to connect.  And perhaps most importantly, stop, drop and roll.  Pausing will feel counterintuitive.  Yet, doing so for a minute or two to take a breath, to analyze, to recalibrate, and to refresh will be a time investment in the long run. 

7.       Be grateful (and be ready to apologize).  Say thanks.  A lot.  And realize you’re going to miss a cue or a nuance.  You’ll say the wrong thing or do the wrong thing.  Be quick to apologize.

8.       Feed your soul.  Hopefully you have a routine that allows you the time and space to invest in yourself.  In overwhelm, those routines tend to fall by the wayside.  It’s best if you can stick with them, but if you fall off the wagon, beware of all-or-nothing thinking.  If you can’t seem to do everything to feed yourself, do something.   I’ve found audio learning in the car has been a great benefit.  I also thought about little things that fill me up and will look for opportunities to enjoy them – the sound of my daughter’s laugh, watching the grandkids play, quiet sunsets, just a page or two from an upbuilding book or blog or article, a little prayer, a smile from a friend.  They all light me up.  They all remind me of the best things in life.

What feeds your soul?  If you can’t eat a full meal right now, at least grab a nice, healthy, little snack.

Hang in there.  It sounds trite but it really is all good.  The crucible helps you see yourself more clearly.  You’ll learn and you’ll grow.  It won’t go exactly as you planned, but you’ll be in a different place when it’s all said and done.  And regardless of the exact result, what you learn along the way will make it worth it.  Even if you fall flat on your face, as long as the process leads you to see, appreciate and live your values more completely and your life more fully, you win.

 

Best Practices, change management, community associations, condo associations, Governance, HOAs, leadership, Uncategorized

Dear Boards: Suck It Up and Be Transparent

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James Dyson developed over 5,000 prototype designs for his revolutionary vacuum cleaner between 1979 and 1984. Nobody cared until 1983. An Italian appliance maker agreed to sell them by mail order. It was not exactly a success; only about 500 units were sold that year.

But Dyson was undeterred. He never forgot his unhappy experience with a typical vacuum in 1974, when he noticed it seemed to lose suction easily and required a lot of maintenance to maintain optimal performance. He knew there had to be a better way. He was sure his “cyclonic separation” technology was the answer.

Who Wants to See Dirt?

One of the key features of the vacuum was its clear plastic dirt collector. Market research at the time said people would hate it. But Dyson sensed that people would want to see the results of the vacuum’s performance, no matter how ugly it might be. So in 1991 he launched Dyson Appliances Unlimited. Was he right? Today Dyson is a multi-billion pound (British) company employing over 8,500 people. But you don’t need to know statistics to see his impact. Take a look at the appliance shelf at your local department store or Amazon page. How many competitors copied him?

Historically, vacuum cleaners trapped dirt in a hidden bag that was removed and thrown away. The clear dirt collector went against the grain of conventional wisdom at the time. In his ebook Who Do You Want Your Customers to Become?, Michael Schrage quoted Dyson: “The interesting thing is that when I did this, all of our competitors just fell about the floor laughing; they were actually delighted that I’d been so stupid. And the retailers wouldn’t have it . . . We went into the stores, and our vacuum has all this (expletive deleted) in it. The retailers are absolutely hostile. They say, ‘No, no, no, it’s a complete mistake—make it smoked or tinted or something.’ But I persisted, because I found it really fascinating that you could see exactly what was happening; you could actually see the nature and texture and type of dirt you’ve picked up.”

Schrage concluded, “While Dyson’s transparency defied the industry’s conventional wisdom, customers knew they could see with their own eyes how well their innovative technology worked. Dyson offered a simple, easy, and inexpensive user experience that invited customer confidence….Transparency creates trust. Dyson’s contrarian innovation was an investment in trust. Dyson empowered his customers to come to their own real-time conclusions about his product’s performance. “

What’s This Got to Do with Community Association Governance?

Too many boards of directors of community association are nervous. Nervous about contention. Nervous about bad PR. Nervous about looking unprepared. Nervous about being wrong. Reflexively, they retreat into secrecy, even when state or local statutes require open meetings.

I get it. People can be tough. Most communities have hard cases living in them. I remember Elvira, a unit owner in a particularly contentious condominium I once managed. She was the Board’s harshest critic, never missing an opportunity to call out any and every imperfection. When I asked her why she didn’t step up and serve on the Board, it became clear she didn’t want to be accountable. She just enjoyed holding others accountable.

I also remember my first condo management job. I was a contracted, interim building manager for a small and elite condominium in Washington DC. I went to work every day with a knot in my stomach, certain I would blow the building up. At the end of my tenure, the whole community threw me a going away party. It was amazing. I cornered one of the board members and said, “I don’t understand. This was my first management job. I made plenty of mistakes. Why were you so happy with me?” I’ll never forget the answer.

“Tom, you told us about every little thing that went wrong. We knew if anything really bad happened you would be honest about it. You have no idea how valuable that was to us to have a manager we could trust.”

“Transparency creates trust”
– Michael Schrage

Humility and openness are invaluable. They set a tone and can change the game. My mentor Arthur Dubin, President of Zalco Realty, and I still recall a president of a condominium we helped turn around back in the day. The condominium had been the victim of paralysis by analysis. This was due in no small part to egos that got in the way of seeing reality and being responsible for decisions that might not work. A brilliant oncologist, this president was always willing to admit when he didn’t understand something. He asked the questions others were afraid to. His standard line was, “talk to me like I’m 5 years old.” The board became more comfortable discussing matters openly and sharing information on topics in progress with owners. All their dirt was in the open. Nobody got sued, the community came together, and stuff got done. More than 20 years later, Arthur and I still reminisce about “Dr. Bob” moments every so often.

Consumers pay good money for a vacuum and want to see the results. They trust their money was well spent, even if what they see might be a bit distasteful. They know the technology works. Seeing the results allows them to draw their own conclusions. Community members pay their fees. They want to have confidence that the organization they are funding is working well. They want to have confidence in the process, even when the news is a less than pleasant. Seeing the process unfold allows members to buy in for themselves.

So your gut reaction may be to stay “safe” in the shadows. This is a fear-based decision. You already know those don’t work out too well (FEAR = False Evidence Appearing Real). You may make assumptions about how members will react to seeing the dirt. And it’s true that in our litigious society there are reasons to be discrete. But knowledge gaps will be filled by the rumor mill. The Law of Omitted Data (i.e. if a percentage of information is omitted or missing, bad data will spread at an exponential rate over time) runs amok. This creates a vicious cycle of distrust, secrecy and dysfunction.

So yes, it can be tough ESPECIALLY in challenging times and with bad news. Take a deep breath and be as open as circumstances permit. Change the game and begin to turn vicious cycles into success cycles. This is not theory. It works. Give it a shot – suck it up and be transparent. When the results start to flow you’ll be glad you did.

Startups

No He Didn’t! (Yes…He Did)

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The time has come to leap. I’m not sure anyone is ever really ready for major life events. The best we can do is be prepared.

I’ve had the best mentors. I’ve seen how condominium associations, HOAs and housing cooperatives can be wildly successful and been privileged to be a part of it. I’ve seen (and hopefully been a part of) management done right. The joy and honor of service is deeply ingrained in my mind and heart. I’ve formed a gazillion creative collaborations and professional connections. As I ponder over my contacts list I’m blown away, realizing how many amazing and supportive people I know. I’ve helped plenty of associations and boards turn things around. I’ve been thrilled to see the light bulb go on in the eyes of managers and associates when we got to Aha! moments. I’ve been in unique situations and been asked to do uncommon things. It has been a wild ride so far, not to mention an education better than anything I could have imagined 30 years ago.

I’ve also made every mistake known to mankind. I’ve botched communications. I’ve tried to do everything myself and failed miserably. I’ve gotten out of kilter and off-balance. I’ve been myopic and missed context. I’ve forgotten what’s important, though thankfully, not for long.

I have a great team. I have a phalanx of amazing professionals who stand ready to partner with me to provide my clients with amazing results. Special thanks to Chantu Chea, CMCA®, who has helped me find my voice and calls me out when I make no sense whatsoever. She’s the best editor I’ve ever had. As the King of Typos and tortured syntax, her help with my blog and work product is invaluable. She and my webmaster, graphic designer  & IT guru Cassandra Laine are amazing collaborators.

I am deeply grateful to everyone who has taught me, corrected me, supported me, pushed me, and pulled me. I carry them with me every day. I cannot list them all here, but I can honor them by passing forward the remarkable things they’ve helped me to learn. And I can help others avoid the mistakes I’ve made.

So, as of July 1, I’m no longer a corporate guy. I’ll be consulting full-time under the Association Bridge, LLC banner. The mission:

We create spaces where community association leaders and the professionals who serve them can successfully navigate the challenges they face, reach the goals they choose, find satisfaction and joy in their service, and make raving fans of association members.

The wild ride continues. I’m not ready. If I wait for everything to be perfect, nothing will ever happen.  But right here right now, I’m as prepared as I can be. Leap time!

business life, Communications, Magic Beans, Management

Magic Beans #3 – Right Question, Right Time

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This installment of the Magic Beans comes right from the front lines.

Last week, an on-site manager emailed a message with the subject line “Escrow Question:”

“I received a call today from a mortgage company trying to close a loan for next week and the budget sent them was years old. Can we discuss making sure those documents issued through HomeWise are current?”

Three emails later, the person responsible for coordinating documents with HomeWise (the third party provider of resale disclosures and lender questionnaires) made a very smart statement:

“I would like to know the confirmation number for the order. The budget that is attached is what was uploaded to HomeWise…and has been included with 2018 resale packages.”

She was pretty well freaked out, concerned how an old budget could have been provided to a lender.

Two or three emails later, everything became clear. In the course of obtaining the order number, the lender took another look at the documents.  He realized he misunderstood what he was reviewing. He confirmed all was well, and apologized for the confusion.  The on-site manager in turn, apologized to the two people involved on the management company’s end. He said he erred by “trusting that the mortgage lender knew what he was talking about.”  Everything got done and the loan will close.  But it took several emails and an hour or so of combined work time from all the persons who became involved.

Breaking it Down

  • For whatever reason (perhaps moving too quickly, having a bad day, inexperience…it could have been any number of reasons) the lender misinterpreted the documentation and reported an inaccurate condition.
  • The on-site manager assumed that the documents were incorrect . He punted to other parties without fully investigating what was actually going on.
  • It took a couple of emails to clarify what was actually going on. The email subject line muddied the waters (it wasn’t really an “escrow” question).

Lessons Learned

  • Things happen. People get confused.
  • Making assumptions compounds error.
  • Delegating or directing action before determining the actual problem wastes time.
  • Precise and accurate communication saves time.
  • The quicker someone takes full ownership of a problem and thinks it through, the quicker that problem gets solved.

The Magic Beans

This situation illustrates a very common occurrence. Most of us are moving very fast these days.   Sometimes we make assumptions, react without thinking a process all the way through. We kick the can to someone else, thinking we’ve taken the appropriate action. Unfortunately, this can trigger a burst of wasted time and effort.

What would have happened had the on site manager sought to identify the actual issue? What if he would have asked the lender a question using these Magic Beans?:

“Could you please do me a favor and send over what you are looking at so I can see what you are seeing?”

A review of the document would have revealed the solution in a couple of minutes. 2 people would have solved the problem. No one would have gotten anxious about a problem that didn’t even exist. Even if it turned out there was an error with the documents, everyone would have been in a better position to get to the solution more quickly.

Why do these Magic Beans work? Because, like all the Beans, the words tap into deeper issues:

  • It is a data-based inquiry. There is no ego, no accusation of error, no blame casting or blame shifting.
  • It is a solution-based inquiry. It creates a partnership focused on getting something done.
  • It creates a space to get at the nut of the issue – fast.

Think back about similar situations you may have been involved in. Could asking this question up front have saved you and your team time and energy?

In the heat of battle it is very easy to miss opportunities for efficient solutions.  Sometimes the right question at the right time can save time and effort. Making sure everyone is clear and on the same page is always a time investment.

business life, Customer Service, Management, Time Management

Slow Down to Speed Up

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Maverick’s testosterone-drenched line to his partner Goose in the 1986 film Top Gun became iconic…fast. Since then, the thirst for speed in business and life has become unquenchable. (Interestingly, the thirst for coffee has also increased exponentially. Number of Starbucks locations in 1986 – 6. In 2018 – over 28,000. Coincidence? I think not…). We are trained to think fast. We are pressed to act fast. Speed is everything. And it seems to me that the unintended consequence of thinking and acting so fast has been a lack of thoughtfulness. I think it’s killing us, but we are moving too rapidly to see it.

“If you don’t have time to do a thing right, when will you have time to do it over?“ – Coach John Wooden

I see people working hard, but way too often things don’t get done efficiently or well. Despite all the tech tools to make us “better,” more mistakes are made. Frequently, errors are compounded as the can gets kicked to the next person in the office or email chain. Missed details. Rampant obliviousness to nuance. Poorly executed communication. Morale and customer service suffer. Listening skills…who’s got time to listen?

Speed Has Its Place

Don’t get me wrong, speed is essential in business. This is especially true when it comes to innovation (being at the “edge of the envelope” in Top Gun parlance). Tom Peters preaches this relentlessly and I think he’s right. One of his presentation slides remains a favorite – “Fail. Forward. Fast.” Mr. Peters is also correct when he says success requires a bias for action.  But when it comes to day to day administration and especially customer service, balance is needed.  Even in our immediate gratification world, a fast but lousy solution won’t cut it.

Preparation and Position

“Be quick but don’t hurry.” -Coach John Wooden

This is one of my all-time favorite Coach Wooden quotes. He emphasized the importance of being in the right place at the right time. That means preparing mentally, thinking strategically, and executing the plan. Failure to think ahead leads to players rushing into a play out of position and out of control. Whether it’s basketball or customer service, fast but not smart is usually ineffective.

I used to use a quote attributed to Lincoln to illustrate the value of preparation, but apparently it’s apocryphal. In doing the research, I found this gem and like it better:

A woodsman was once asked, “What would you do if you had just five minutes to chop down a tree?” He answered, “I would spend the first two and a half minutes sharpening my axe.” Let us take a few minutes to sharpen our perspective.

A failure to plan may lead to last minute heroics that might look good in the moment, but it’s a poor strategy in the long run. As Seth Godin tells it, cold yeast is the key to baking good bread.

It can feel like you don’t have time to think and plan. That’s stress playing its cruel trick on your brain. A sharp perspective leads to directed, thoughtful, and efficient action. Focused energy creates quickness. In the end, planning is a time investment, not an expense.

Stop, Drop & Roll

No matter how well you plan, the business day is on fire. We can jet from one thing to another and not realize we are wasting our time and energy. Just like they taught us as kids, if you catch on fire don’t keep running. Stop and put the fire out.

Plan to make yourself stop. Disconnect, recharge, analyze and adjust the plan as needed. It may seem counter-intuitive to slow your roll. But you will put yourself in position to get more done in less time overall. More quickness, less hurrying.

Coach of champions and 90 Second Rule creator Jim Fannin suggests thinking about your day like a football game. Why do teams take breaks at the quarters and the half? There are lessons there. Now expand the concept of regular breaks and regrouping to your weeks, months, quarters and years. It can make a huge difference for individuals, and organizations. But remember, time and events will fly by. If you don’t plan the breaks, they won’t happen.

Stop. Think. Act. Rinse. Repeat.

Get Off The Hamster Wheel

© Sam Saccone 2008

If you feel like this little guy, there’s your sign. The pace of progress and life will continue to increase. It always impacts you, but it doesn’t have to control you. You can still be fast, just be smart about it. Slow down a little.

Attitude, business life, community associations, Management

No D For Managers

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They say defense wins championships. As much as I enjoy employing sports analogies as a teaching tool, this is one I cannot use. Because when it comes to customer service, offense comes first. A defensive mindset is limiting and ultimately self-defeating.

Generally unhappy people are everywhere, so the odds that some of them live in a community you serve are pretty good. Whether or not their beef is legitimate, or whether or not it has anything to do with you personally, it may well feel personal. And some particularly miserable folks will take great pains to make it so. In these situations, defensiveness feels natural. In very negative environments, it might even feel necessary for self-preservation. It can be a challenge to avoid the trap of defaulting to playing defense in your interactions with owners and residents.

SILLY HUMAN TRICKS

People unconsciously live up or down to expectation. So when you set a defensive tone, people are more likely to be contrary. They also mirror, that is, reflect the emotions and behavior of those with whom they interact. That means (1) as a professional problem solver, people bring you problems. They may not be happy about that problem and their negativity will rub off on you unless you are very careful. And (2) if you are negative, they are more likely to be negative. Think about it… are you are one of those managers who complains regularly about your job? Are you creating a space where negative transactions are likely, maybe even inevitable? Oops.

A word about “CYA” (covering your…butt). Some old school, burned out managers will tell you that CYA is the first rule of management. It might be the first rule of mediocre management, but not good management. CYA is the sure byproduct of doing good business. The follow up email, the contemporaneous business record, the documentation of conditions, inspection reports, thorough board packages – these are all fundamental business practices that protect both you and the association. But when your first goal is CYA, you get selfish. You do things that clearly protect you, but are frequently short sighted and have little to do with addressing the real issues of the day. A mindset of self-protectionism can create a vicious cycle of ineffectiveness that leads to distrust. Constant defense becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

“But Tom, we live in a litigious society. And my Board questions every move I make. I have to play defense all the time!”

You are right. But your strategy is flawed.

IN CUSTOMER SERVICE, A GOOD OFFENSE IS THE BEST DEFENSE

Great managers play offense by taking a proactive, positive approach to their work. They don’t wait for problems to come, they look for opportunities to address things before they become problems. When problems do come to them, they see the opportunities hidden within.

When you take the initiative to play offense first, you free your mind to see the possibilities. You recognize the potential for good in people and help them to be their best selves. You build trust. You find you don’t have to play defense so often. Your reputation creates space for good things to happen. And you put yourself in a position to love what you do.

How Great Managers Play Offense

• Think solutions and work towards them, even if you can’t give your client exactly what they want. Or anything approaching what they want for that matter. Be that person who gets things done despite challenges.
• If a statement needs correction, do it in the third sentence, not the first.
• Focus on the principles behind the matter at hand. Teach. Help others to raise their thinking.
• Don’t mirror the negative, problem-based mindset of others. Let them mirror your positive, solutions-based approach.
• Paint a picture of possibility and a bigger perspective.
• And yes, document, document, document. It’s just good business.

Communications, Emotional Intelligence, Magic Beans, Management

Magic Beans #2 – No Buts About It

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This installment of the Magic Beans series focuses on one little word choice in one-on-one communication that can make a big difference.

THINK ABOUT IT

How many times do you use the word “but”? Take a count for a week. You might be surprised.

“But” marks a transition of thought. You might use it when you think something is dreadfully wrong… “But you are missing the point!!” Perhaps more often, you may tend to strategize your way into a “but” to offer an alternative position. You might even start with a palatable point of agreement with all good intentions. You know your counterpart disagrees with your position at the moment. You are trying to find common ground in the hopes they will be able to hear what you plan to say next. Then you transition with something like: “But I think…”, “But what about…”, or the ever so artful “But I wonder if…”

So here’s another exercise for you. For the next week, listen for every time someone else uses the word “but.” Pay attention to your immediate reaction. Unless there is a high level of trust in the relationship and in the moment, you will probably notice some level of negative emotion. This is where word choice counts.

THE GREAT ERASER – DEFLECTOR SHIELDS ON!

The problem with “but” is that it has the power to be the Great Eraser. It can effectively wipe out everything that was stated before it. Think about you how felt when you heard it while in a vulnerable place. Maybe it was during one of those dreadful annual performance reviews (which, by the way, I suggest we abandon). The reviewer just said 3 or 4 nice things about you, dutifully following the “3 Cs of Counselling” (comment – correct – commend). And then….wait for it…. “But there is some room for improvement…” Your defenses go up. You might start to think you just got played. You begin to formulate your counter argument.

The bottom line for any conversation – you might not be able to truly hear anything that’s said after you hear the Great Eraser.

What if you are wrong, or the truth is somewhere in the middle? What if you could have benefitted from the point made?

So what can you do when you are on the other side of things?

CHANGE THE GAME

Last exercise – anytime you feel the urge you use the word “but,” substitute “and”. Perhaps something like:
“…and I also noticed…”
“…and it makes me wonder if…”
“…and as I thought about …”

PLAN B

There are some circumstances where “and” might feel disingenuous or out of place. In those cases, see if you need a transition at all. If that sounds too abrupt, perhaps a softer phrase such as “on the other hand” could be employed. Be aware of your audience and the circumstance, and use your best judgment. Just remember that it doesn’t matter what you say, only what was heard.

WHY?

  • Your listener’s deflector shields might just stay down long enough to hear the message
  • You avoid the (hopefully) unintended message that you devalue the listener or their opinion/position
  • It changes the way you think and communicate, opening up dialogue that might just lead you to adjust your thinking – it could lead to asking more questions that will benefit both parties
  • It helps to avoid a perception of judgment and creates space for collaboration
  • It takes away a fence and builds a bridge

If you are like me, you’ll find the “but” habit hard to break, and easy to slide back into. It will take some self-awareness and thoughtful planning. If you’d prefer to play the ego game and prove yourself right all the time, it’s OK. Go ahead and stick with “but.” If you’d rather get things done and work effectively with others, take the “buts” out of it.*

*See what I did there? Plan B. I suppose I could have started with “On the other hand,…”

Communications, community associations, Magic Beans, Management, Uncategorized

Magic Beans#1 – Frame of Reference

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Sometimes the right words at the right time are like magic beans. Seemingly intractable positions soften, conflicts are resolved, and things get done. I’ve stumbled across a few during my career. This blog is the first in a series of sharing communication approaches that have worked for me. I hope they help you.

Many years ago I was called upon to take over a developer-controlled association. Diane, the community manager, was at her wit’s end. She found the developer to be dismissive and dishonest. It became clear that a change in assignment was required to get things on track and I became the manager. One of the hot issues involved considerable damage to an overhead garage door. Repairs were completed to the tune of a few thousand dollars. But it was a sticky situation. Several unit owners knew that developer personnel hit the door with their vehicle. Elliot, the developer representative, had been trying to get Diane to file a claim under the condominium’s master policy. But Diane was a particularly principled manager. She refused to file the claim, insisting that the repairs were the developer’s responsibility. The more she protested filing the claim, the more he insisted she file it.

Sure enough, by the end of our first meeting, Elliot tells me, “Tommy, we’ve got to get that insurance claim filed. I don’t know what that woman’s problem was.” I let him know I had a lot on my plate, but would get back to him. (I’ll admit it…while the statement was 100% true, I was buying time). In the ensuing weeks, I observed Elliot closely as we worked together. It was clear he enjoyed doing business in a “guy’s club” manner. I also noticed that he was very religious. He observed all the holy days. But the application of ethical principles behind religious practice? Not so much. The reasons why he and Diane were oil and water became crystal clear. In addition to the gender issue, her frame of reference was principle-based. She saw law as a function of ethics. Elliot seemed to be legalistically-based. He saw ethics as a function of law (i.e. if you don’t get into trouble, it’s not unethical). There was no way Elliot would ever hear Diane’s message. So I took a different tack.

Elliot: “Tommy, have you filed that claim yet?”

Me: “I’ve been looking at that and wanted to talk to you when you had a moment. If we file that claim, I wanted to make sure you knew how it might play out.”

Elliot: “Whaddaya mean?”

Me: “Well, you know you are a couple of months before turning over control of the board to the unit owners.”

Elliot: “Yeah, so what?”

Me: “You know the folks who will most likely to run will be the ones that trust you the least. I mean no disrespect, but you know not everybody’s a big fan…”

Elliot (shrugs, nods): “Yeah, there are always troublemakers.”

Me: “In my experience, folks like that get on the board and one of the first things they do is rake through the financials. They are looking for anything suspicious. And if we file the claim and that happens, guess what they’ll see?”

Elliot: “What’s that, Tommy? “

Me: “An insurance deductible expense. And they’ll ask questions and figure out pretty quickly that their fees paid for damage done by your guys. So I really only have one question for you – is your lawyer on retainer or do you pay him by the hour.”

Elliot (pregnant pause…): “Hmm…so you think I might get in a little trouble, Tommy?”

Me: “You might.”

Elliot: “OK, no problem, I’ll write a check to reimburse the condo.”

Me: “Good idea. I’ll show it as a credit on the financials so everyone will know you took care of it.”

Elliot: “Thanks a lot Tommy. I really appreciate that.”

Granted, it was difficult to do business with the gentlemen. I felt like washing my hands after every handshake. If my tactic didn’t work, I had a Plan B in my pocket. I would have advised Elliot that if I filed the claim, I would have had to recommend the insurer pursue subrogation against him. If that meant we got fired, so be it. But none of that proved necessary. We found a mutual frame of reference, he did the right thing and the unit owners were well-served.

THE TAKEAWAYS

• If you don’t know the client’s frame of reference, it is much more difficult to be effective.

• Observe closely, find cues to identify the client’s frame of reference.

• When possible, communicate issues with the client’s frame of reference in mind.